Holy Crap, I'm a Writer!

You know how people say, "Hell, I oughta write a book" or "you oughta..."? Well, ideally, one would need to be a 'writer' to accomplish such a feat. Myself, I don't really read books, per se, so nobody would expect me to write one, or to become a writer. I will assume the term doesn't simply designate an ability to write--the whole idea is quite nebulous, don't you agree? Therefore, given that few people (if any) know what prerequisites or training are actually involved in becoming a writer, I'm going to 'just do it'--POOF!--I'm a writer! Whoa! I never thought it would be so easy. Amazingly, until a few minutes ago, I actually didn't know that I am indeed a writer (in fact, as I write this, I'm becoming even more convinced).  Now that we have established my credentials,  let me assure you that I plan on putting the 'bullshit' back in blogging, for sure, with a collection of ramblings and (true) bullshit any (well...) momma could be proud of.

So, what does it take to be a writer, anyways? Let's explore this issue, just to make sure my new-found [a]vocation isn't a fluke, or a figment of a deluded imagination--I'll generate a simple list here to elucidate the defining aspects of a character who writes about characters, both real and imagined, or simply blather off a whole lotta bullshit, and call it 'writing':

• First off, one either has to have a wide range of experiences from which to draw upon, or one helluva imagination, in order to express the depths of insanity--I mean humanity--required to properly develop a character: check√
• Next, one must have beau-coup time to 'waste' on such a frivolous undertaking. This means one is either independently wealthy, retired, or living off  'the dole' (sponging or leaching off others included): check√
• Of course, one must have a firm grasp of ze 'english', or whatever language is involved, including correct spelling and usage, some degree of grammar and sentence structure, etc. Alternatively, one can have a good dictionary/thesaurus, and/or a ghost-writer, or just be able to 'wing it' by the 'dazzle them with BS' method: check√
• One must have a sense of humor. Although this sense is quite ill-defined, it's a must-have. There are many kinds of humor, so take your pick: check√
• Finally, one needs a readership; some population or collection of freaks willing to read (or buy[?]) your voluminous assortment of verbalisms. In the case of blogs like this, the target population is: whoever is out there that stumbles across it--someone will read it, and like it: check√

Ok, so there you have it; definitive proof that I am a writer--no ifs, ands, or buts. I knew it! Look Ma, I'm a WRITER!