After I got settled in, I soon began to notice there was something amiss. I had this idyllic view of small-town living; people would be friendly and inviting--even welcoming--and I imagined people might even clamor for my attention, out of sheer curiosity ("...who is that handsome stranger, anyway?"). Hell, I even expected my new neighbors to come introduce themselves, showering me with housewarming gifts--like PIE!
*BAMM*! Whoa! Was I in for a shock. In reality, the natives were a suspicious breed, eyeing strangers under their noses with scornful looks--like "...who the fuck is this clown, and WTF is he doing here?", or "welcome to Podunk--now, spend some money here and then just get the hell out!". It seems these 'Podunks' live under some kind of bizarre 'clan' system, and outsiders just aren't welcome. Hell, I've been here over five years, and the only way I know a couple of my neighbors' names is because my mother knew them from [her previous] church. Under the clan system, I guess that level of familiarity allows natives to actually speak to you, but interaction beyond this is apparently taboo. Needless to say, nobody actively engages in conversation attempts with 'outsiders', unless you are a customer at a local business. I never did get that pie...
Being an outsider is apparently a permanent stigma, unless [maybe] you marry into a clan; Sis has been here over twenty years, and she's still one, according to her. We damned city-folk are just not ever going to get 'in' here. The clans are pretty clique-ish, even if one were to be an exalted member. These podunks actually have the audacity to look down their noses at sub-humans (sub-clanners?) from neighboring areas. For example, it seems a nearby town has a reputation as being populated with hillbillies, or 'inbreds'. Man, is that the pot calling the kettle black, or what?!
That is, in my view, all these podunks are severely inbred. In my [limited] experience, there seems to be a much higher incidence here for odd birth defects attributable to such a breeding scheme. The IQ average is seemingly one or two SD [standard deviations] below the 'norm', as we experience in city life. The problem is, these podunks have guns, and are allowed to drive and even vote. One has to wonder "haven't these people discovered that there's a whole other world out there, with a fresh set of genes to mix in here?" Geez, it's like they haven't figured out that automobiles can carry them outside the area. (Yes, they do indeed drive horseless carriages here, in case you might wonder) You know, even in the animal kingdom, males are pushed out of the main group to go breed with the outside herds/troops/flocks/whatever. What went wrong in Podunk? I have no idea. Regardless, let it be known that these people simply don't understand the concept
More on 'Podunk living' soon: What does one do in Podunk?
GT
Been in a few Podunks in my lifetime; never have been offered pie. Shown the door a few times; no pie.
ReplyDeleteAsked the fellow a fence line away, after I had just parked my Vee the day before, if he had any coffee. He stared at me as if I had two heads.
Grew up in NY and never met a stranger. Strange folk, not strangers.
Moved to Podunk, whole different story.
Rural America; what a concept!